When Things “Fell” Apart

Eight years ago I officially signed off from Precious Metal. It was bittersweet to put it lightly. I didn’t really want to walk away, I was really enjoying what the online sangha at the time was building. The universe had its own plan though and I walked away.

Here I am after nearly a decade and the landscape of the online sangha has changed dramatically. I can’t seem to find many of my old pals, but that’s ok; it’s all impermanent right? I’m about to get wordy so those that have hung on and want to play catch up here it goes; I will try to be as brief as possible.

Tuning in, not tuning out

Our minds, believe or not, are very much like a radio. I’m sure most folks don’t use radios as often with the advent of iPods and mp3 players, but back in the day, before digital tuning, we had to use a knob to find the station we wanted to listen to.

Turning the knob back and forth, we fought off the static until we would get a nice clean station to listen to. Tuned in, we would sit back and enjoy the music coming from our speakers, and it was easy to listen to once tuned in properly.

As meditators, I think one of our goals is similar to the way we used to tune in the radio. As we sit, quietly with our minds, we try to tune into something a bit different, silence. In silence we tame the static of our minds and we are able to truly listen to that space underneath. There, we can begin to cultivate the other goals our practice may call for. Whether that is compassion for all beings, equanimity, quelling anger and destructive emotions, etc.

It is important to be tuned into our minds during meditation, or else our “monkey mind” will get the better of us. In the stillness of our minds, the random chaos that is the thinking brain can be tuned in to a state we can comprehend the dharma in a way that is pure and unadulterated. The teachings are easier to comprehend and the information we absorb during this time of contemplation stays with us more.

Back To Basics

© Heidi Younger www.heidiyounger.com

Yet again, things seem to be getting a bit stale. Life is going well, but my practice is a bit… hmmph you know? I think I am trying to hard, doing this type of practice, reciting this, etc. Maybe I just need to get back to sitting, just sitting.

I feel like I stepped up to the plate, stayed in the batters box for a good while, battling off foul ball after foul ball.

Here and there I’d blast a single out into the gap, running hard to make it a double, I keep getting tagged out though.

I’d get that slow floater, right down the middle… *crack* this one is gonna be a homer, it’s going… going… son of… it was caught, out again!

It’s times like these a guy needs to get sent down for a minor league stint, get things back in order.

At this point, I think it’s time to start over though. Head on down to Florida and start spring training all over again.

I’ve overstepped a bit, got myself a little to deep here and not fully comprehending what it is I am doing here. My throw is off, can’t even reach home plate from the infield..

This is where I am at, sitting here in my virtual Ft. Myers starting all over again. Time to work on my swing a bit, loosen the ole arm up and get back to basics

Illustration Credit: Image by Heidi Younger