Adapted from an Ajahn Brahm story
A long time ago on a secluded island in the middle of a large and pristine lake, in an old hut in a clearing surrounded by beautiful trees, a young monk lived, meditating diligently.
He had been on the island for a long time, having departed from his teacher’s monastary with the intention of not returning until he had made the big break through. Full awakening, enlightenment.
His days were spent in total solitude. He did not even see the man who rowed over on a weekly basis, bringing his supplies.
One night, after a particularly blissful day, (and it was a full moon night too) he joined the ranks of the fully enlightened beings!!
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ADMISSION TO HEAVEN – a Buddhist joke
A Christian, a Muslim and a Buddhist die and arrive at the Gate of Heaven. An Angel (or deva) stops them and asks, “Why do you come here? Can you tell me the reasons why you are allowed to enter Heaven?”
The Christian replies, “My ancester disobeyed God, and I sinned all my life: I killed, I lied, I cheated my wife and I was greedy. However, Jesus died for me and all my sins are forgiven. So I deserved to enter Heaven.” “OK,” replies the Angel, “sounds good, but I must give you an entrance examination before you can enter.” The Christian promptly agrees and the Angel asks him: “How to spell God?”. It is an easy question and the Christian passes through the Gate.
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“The Zen philosopher, Basho, once wrote: ‘A flute with no holes is not a flute… and a doughnut with no hole is a Danish.’ He was a funny guy.”
Chevy Chase (Caddyshack)
There’s this wonderful story about the first meeting between Kalu Rinpoche and Zen master Seung Sahn:
The two monks entered with swirling robes – maroon and yellow for the Tibetan, austere gray and black for the Korean – and were followed by retinues of younger monks and translators with shaven heads …
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Professor Richard P. Hayes of McGill University in Canada has compiled a list of known viruses inhabiting Buddhist’s computers. These viruses have been around for thousands of years and they even defy the skills of McAffey. You can visit Professor Hayes at http://www.unm.edu/~rhayes and http://home.comcast.net/~dayamati
THERAVADA TERROR (often packaged in a seemingly innocuous file known as BHIKKHU.BUG): operates by giving ordination to your computer’s CPU. While relatively harmless during the morning hours, this virus has the effect of making your computer refuse to intake or process any hard data after noon.
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Ed. Note – Dug up another funny joke, hope you all enjoy it!
A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.
He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.
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Q: What happens when a Buddhist becomes totally absorbed with the computer he is working with?
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A pilot is flying three people in a private plane – a Tibetan lama, and Bill Gates (the smartest man in the world), and a hippie. Suddenly the pilot announces to his three passengers: “I have bad news for you. The plane is going to crash. We have to bail out now. Unfortunately, we have only three parachutes. And since I am a terrific pilot, and I don’t see any reason why I should die, I am taking one of them. Good luck!” And with that, he jumped out of the plane. Bill Gates said: “Since I am the smartest man in the world, and very valuable to civilization, I am also going to take a parachute and save myself.” And with that, he leapt out of the plane. The lama said to the hippie: “I have already lived a long and fruitful life and have no need to live longer. Therefore, you may take the remaining parachute.” “Relax, mannnn,” said the hippie, putting the parachute on to the lama’s back. “The smartest man in the world just strapped himself into my backpack.”
Joke from http://www.wonbuddhist.org/newsletter/Vol01_Iss4/30_buddhist_joke.html