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Gratitude v2.0

May 5, 2011

This past week at work I’ve been on-call. Yes, the cable guy is on-call. We are required to take it a minimum of 5 or 6 weeks a year. It entails being available up until 9pm each night and anytime on our days off.

This week I was called out on both days off. The first for only the minimum 3 hours, but I worked 11 1/2 the next day. So, before my work week technically started, I already had 14 1/2 of OT done.

Here I am, on the last day of on-call and tonight I was unscathed, no call-outs. I’ve managed a total of 23 hours of OT this week, that includes days I was so busy I did not stop for lunch. This doesn’t mean I didn’t eat, it’s not difficult to eat a sandwich while driving from job to job.

It’s amazing what this practice will teach you, because I was beginning to get irritated by the fact I was getting called out so much. I was beginning to wonder if there was some sort of test to see if I could handle it, or something like that. Needless to say, there is no test, and there sure as shit is no reason to get irritated.

I started thinking about others that are not so fortunate to be working right now, and just how lucky I am to be working. When the recession first hit, I was one of it’s victims. But, knowing a few people, I was able to get my current job after two months of time off. Some people aren’t that lucky.

It’s not only my job though, it’s everything. The food I am able to eat, the clean clothes on my body, the comfortable (lumpy) bed I rest my weary self on at night, the shelter my family and I dwell in, etc. I could sit here all night listing the things I take for granted each and every day. As my awareness sharpens though, it’s getting easier to stop and be mindful of these things.

The hook sets in so easy from time to time. Whether it’s a shitty day at work, some frustration at home because things aren’t going my way, etc. This sharpening of my awareness is blowing my frickin mind I have to tell you. It’s almost like I’m outside of myself seeing it all go down, and saying in my head that there is a better way.

Anyway, I got a tad off the rails there…

The point of this post is not to say that I’ve had some big revelation, because it’s been had before by tons and tons of others. The brilliant thing though, is it’s happening to me. I didn’t think I could change.

One Comment leave one →
  1. May 6, 2011 1:50 pm

    That alarm bell has a particular ring-tone, that goes, “Why me? Why me? Why me?” Funny how often that’s what we hear if we listen: the self saying that it’s all about me… they’re testing me, they’re out to get me, they don’t want me to have a moment to myself. Or my favorite, lately, “society finds me to be worthless”.

    And thanks for the reminder about gratitude. I’m out of work, but working on being thankful for small things, for all things, for all that I do have, helps keep perspective.

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