A Fly On The Wall
If you were to die today and had the opportunity to be a fly on the wall at your own funeral, what stories would you hear? What stories would you not want to hear?
I have some skeletons, we all do, so if my mistakes came to light once again, at my funeral, than so be it. As I mentioned in my post on rebirth, that jackass doesn’t even exist anymore, so that memory would seem like more of a story of someone I don’t know and or recognize.
I’ve been contemplating a lot about death lately, it’s affect right now due to events in my life, and what will eventually some day happen. I was beginning to wonder if I was to immersed in death, maybe even to a sadistic level of obsession.
I realize when this body is no longer breathing it will be the end, it is inevitable. It is really not something I worry about. Something that has been on my mind lately though is how will I be remembered. Will only my mistakes be remembered? Will I be remembered for my deeds? Have I been a good father? A good husband? A good son? A good brother? Etc…
Honestly, I don’t think it’s an obsession, to me it’s important. Not for my ego, but for those around me. For instance, I don’t want someone telling my sons and daughter, “Hey, your dad was a real jerk.” That’s not how I want things to go down, not at all. It’s not about legacy, it’s about my family knowing I did the best I could for them. To provide the very best life I can.
Not in a material way, but the fact I was able to give them an adequate amount of love, caring and compassion. That I was able to shelter them, to feed them, to clothe them. Did I work hard enough?
For once in my life, I can say that I do believe the stories will be positive. There will be some nay-sayers, there always are. And I still do have work to do, hell yes I do. But if I died today I am pretty sure my family will say Idid what I could, and did my best for them. How about you?