“Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else.” ~ Tyler Durden

I wasn’t trying to burst anyone’s bubble, or make them feel like their shiny happy life wasn’t filled with rainbows and butterflies. They can keep on believing that all they want, all I say is good luck with that!!

What I was trying to point out was the fact we all open our eyes in the morning, we all close them at night. When we do close them, we all hope we will open them in the morning. Because, to be perfectly honest, you never know when they will stay shut. The happy shiny world you live in can come to an end at any point, and it doesn’t matter what you have that’s going to make it any better.

Yeah, your Ming vase might look nice, maybe it draws a bit of admiration from your friends. Regardless of what the vase is, and what it does for your “status”, guess what? When the worms start feeding they could care less what you had, you and I will taste the same. I’m sure most Ming vase owners are not reading this post, so it is, in a sense, falling on deaf ears.

I guess what I am trying to convey here, in not so many words, is the fact we all suffer the same. I’ve been full of piss and vinegar lately because of my poor life. What makes me think I suffer any less than the rest of the world. For crying out loud, the stuff I got going on pales in comparison to  the shit a large percent of the worlds populace is dealing with.

I’m not telling you to live your life in a certain way, I’m telling you how I refuse to live mine. I refuse to mope around crying “poor me” all the damn time. I refuse to play the role of victim and moan about my so called rough life. To tell you the truth, it’s fucking wearing me out man!

Times are looking grim these days
Holding on to everything
It’s hard to draw the line
And I, I’m hiding in this empty space
Tortured by my memories
Of what I left behind

I would just mope around, poor me… Why is this happening to me? Boo hoo!

But, after listening to the song, especially the chorus— I realized the message was not about feeling bad for yourself. Those lyrics goes something like…

Shut the f#$k up, get up!

Jonathan Davis, lead singer of Korn, was not just saying it, he was yelling it at the top of his lungs. I could swear he was yelling these words right in my direction.

It felt like he was just grabbing me by the collar and smacking me in the face. Like he was saying “get up… stop feeling sorry for yourself.. get over yourself and do something…”

Looking into the mirror, I don’t see a sorry person.

I look in the mirror and see someone who is strong, resolved and brushing himself off.

There is no time like the here and now to get up, no time like the present to make the changes that need to be made. I can’t sit around hoping and mumbling mantras that somehow the cosmic forces of the universe are going to make it ok. Because, no-one or no thing can make the change, it’s up to me.

So, no more moping, it’s nothing but forward motion from here on out.

As The New Year Approaches:
Try something new to have fun and get fit

Every December and January, the same talks get discussed; New Year’s Resolutions. You promise yourself to go to the gym, lose weight, don’t eat chocolate, it’s the same ole same ole. Many of times the reasons why these promises do not get fulfilled is because you get bored half way through and even the sight of a gym makes you turn the other way. That is why you need to adopt a program that is fun, relaxing, and intense. This is why yoga is the perfect solution to any resolution. I know I know, you are thinking, “but I can’t even do the splits” that is why yoga is perfect. There are so many forms of yoga that there is one out there for you. Trust me.

One form that is fun and different is AntiGravity yoga. And no, you do not get perform yoga in spacesuits or in zero G, for all you “trekkies” but you do get to hang and stretch on a silky hammock.  This very physically intense yoga and is a great way to get tone, really work that upper body, and revitalize the mind-body connection. AntiGravity yoga combines Pilates, dance, calisthenics, and acrobatics with traditional asanas to create a fun alternative yoga.

AcroYoga is another alternative yoga that combines the roles of acrobatics with yoga. This is a great way to set a goal with a partner, since the poses rely on the cooperation of two people (the base and the flyer).  The postures and poses of AcroYoga are very intense but offer great results. Not only do practitioners build muscle and tone up, they rejuvenate the body’s energy. This is also a great yoga to do with children.

Another good stress reliever and resolution-setter is laughter yoga. This alternative form of yoga is becoming very prominent in studios and nursing homes around the country. Since it has been documented to alleviate depression, many elderly patients have adopted as well as people with aggressive cancer diagnoses, like a non-hodgkin’s lymphoma or mesothelioma prognosis. Since there are not many poses involved with laughter yoga, the mental and spiritual aspects are compared to traditional asanas. It is great for people that just need a stress relief and are not into physically intense movements.

So as the New Year rolls on in, step out and try something new. Maybe this year you will keep to your promises!

As you read in my recent post “Running Is As Running Does”, or maybe you didn’t, I have been running a bit. That has not been the only physical activity I’ve done. I have been doing a workout program called P90X, I am sure by now you’ve all heard of it. Working out at home is perfect for me, a gym is not a place where I plan to go, not only because I do not fit the mold of the “lift things up and put them down” guys but because most of them are outrageously priced. I was able to get P90X for a very reasonable cost from someone on Craigslist.

At first I thought, this can’t possibly work, it’s just another infomercial scam. I put my initial thoughts about it aside though and gave it my all. The first day, the chest and back workout, kicked my behind. That is putting it lightly, I was sore as hell the next day. I was invigorated though so I went about the second day, the plyometrics workout. Plyometrics, or jump training, is to the wall cardio style. Not only are you jumping, you are running in place, etc. Needless to say, the next day not only was my chest and back still sore, but my legs were wasted.

I am just about at the end of the 90 days and I have to say this, I have never, EVER, been in good physical condition as I am now. 15 or so years ago, I did have a workout partner and we went to a gym, but I never felt this good. At age 37 it’s quite impressive, to me at least.

Lately, I’ve finally been able to make some time to start up a sitting practice again. Because of the fitness, I feel like my sessions are stronger than they were before. My form is a little better and my mind feels in tune with my body because of that. My breathing, because of all the cardio and relentless exercise, has become more refined and is easier to follow.

I am really starting to understand the mind/ body connection, I guess I never really gave it much thought before. It is extremely important to this practice. Once again, I have come back to the beginning of all of this practice stuff. Each time, I come back to it with a fresh approach. This time, it feels a bit more organic, and things are a bit more in tune. I hope you enjoy this post.

Lodro Rinzler joins the ranks of other GenX American practitioners/ teachers such as Ethan Nichtern, Brad Warner, Noah Levine and more, to get into the writing world. While not breaking any new ground, Lodro explains things in a very practical and down to earth style. Coming from a specific tradition, Vajrayana in the Shambhala lineage, there is of course helpful hints and tips based on those teachings.

Lodro introduces some witty anectdotes that reflect circumstances from his life. One particular story I enjoyed was one where he was at Karme Choling and an incident occurred where some workers there had some tension. The outcome was not some profound wisdom on his part, but was the wisdom of a fellow retreatant that he witnessed and learned from. Lodro tells the reader how to recognize events in everyday life as lessons. From the simplest of things, there are always things we can slow down, reflect on and gain some wisdom from.

That doesn’t mean he circles round the daisies here folks, he tackles many subjects that make most Buddhist purists get all uppity and offended. From sex, to beer Lodro tackles just about every situation you could possibly get yourself into. He does not denounce either of them, as a matter of fact, he says just the opposite. He talks about embracing them. Drinking a beer for instance, it’s not about getting drunk, but grab a hold of that beer, drink it, notice it and see what effects it has on you. I’m of course paraphrasing here, you’ll have to get a copy of the book to better understand what I was getting at.

All in all, Lodro has written a gem here. His openness is valuable, and his wisdom palapable. I look forward to reading more from him in the future.

My health has not been so good lately, and I decided it was time to do something about it. I thought of a couple ways I could, and I started doing it. The first few times I barely jogged a 1/2 mile, it would kill my legs and I honestly felt defeated half of the time. I knew I had to overcome that self-defeat and kept pushing. I got myself up to a mile, a mile and a half, to being able to complete 3 mile runs.

In September I ran my first 5k and finished in a little over 30 minutes, 31 minutes and 33 seconds to be exact. I was blown away by my time, blown away by the fact I could hold my own against people who were way more fit than I. I was happy beyond belief, though, to have even finished.

On Thanksgiving day I ran my second 5k, and finished in 28 minutes and 22 seconds. I had shaved nearly 2 minutes off of my PR from the first race. I felt emboldened, as if I finally was getting somewhere. But, where exactly was I going, and how was I getting there? Am I running for health, or for some other reason.

As I go over and over it in my head, and I hate to admit it, but it’s become another infatuation of mine. My life is pure, unadulterated samsara, my habitual patterns continue and continue. At the same time, I feel in a weird way that I am running away from something. I still have yet to figure that part out, but sooner or later it’ll catch up… it always does.

So, at this point, has running really done anything for me? Absolutely, it has. A while back I saw on Facebook a video someone had posted where Sakyong Mipham spoke of his love for running. He talked about how it is like a meditation for him.

Lately, I have not been meditating, circumstances in my life made it virtually impossible. After watching the video though, I started looking at my running a little bit differently. I tried to keep my pace even. I have tried to focus not on the running so much, but on the rhythm of the running. I’ve worked on synchronizing my breath with the pace I am running. It’s amazing how these minor tweaks have turned an exercise for the body, into an exercise for the mind.

As my body has become more at ease, slowly, but surely, my mind has been calling me back. I could go on and on with the pity party that has been my life as of late, but I know there is work to be done. Meditation, and the Dharma, are calling me back. While my body and mind seem rather dry, I am gently dipping my toes back in the stream. My body has never been something I felt would lead me in the direction of tranquility, but is telling me to keep going. To keep running, because not only does it feel good, but because it helps.

“Any perception can connect us to reality properly and fully. What we see doesn’t have to be pretty, particularly; we can appreciate anything that exists. There is some principle of magic in everything, some living quality. Something living, something real, is taking place in everything.”

I have been looking forward to seeing this for some time. I have to admit, I have not read a ton of Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, but what I have read, and know about him, he was quite the audacious and in your face type of guy. His form of wisdom, appropriately dubbed crazy wisdom, broke many of the molds that westerners thought Buddhism was.

In the 60′s he became a teacher that people flocked too, having heard from their friends just how brilliant he was. When they met him, many of them were turned off. I’m sure they expected a figure similar to His Holiness the Dalai Lama. You know, a guy in all of his monkliness regalia, what they got was quite the opposite.

His behavior dumbfounded some and pissed off others, especially Tibetan traditionalists, who were angered by the fact one who had so much karma and mythos behind him could just let himself go. He drank like a sailor at times, had extra-marital sex, but the thing that threw most of them for a loop was he donned a suit, not the robes of typical Tibetan teacher.

This film has re-opened my eyes, and mind, to the Dharma. Chogyam Trungpa has reminded me, and us all, it’s not all about smoke, mirrors and hocus pocus. It about commitment, truly living life for life’s sake. Like a Zen teacher whacks a student with a stick to “wake up”, CTR’s life was one big stick whack. He did not live by the book, he did not live the way it “should be.” He just lived. As we all should.

I am thankful for many things this year, but am concentrating on the basics. I’m thankful for family, friends and my job.

My direct family, and extended family are close knit. we may not see one another everyday, or even close to once a month, but when and if they are called upon, they are there like true family members should be. Their unconditional love has got me through many of cloudy days. I hope that I can repay them someday with the kindness they have always shown me.

My friends, while a small group of folks, are really important to me. We are a support network that is undeniable. They know I’m there for them, as I know I am there for them.

I am extremely thankful for my job. Without it, life would be nearly impossible to live. But, it’s not just about the money. I work, as you know, for one of the largest cable providers in the US. They are a phenomenal company to work for. Not only do they care about their customers, but they truly and honestly care about their employees. The opportunities are huge, and if you are willing to work they are willing to move you up. Nowadays companies like this are hard to find. So I am thankful to work for them.

So, simply I am thankful for the things that maybe I take for granted but are truly the most dear to my heart. 

Finally, someone has put together a manga (graphic novel) based on the history of Buddha. It’s been done for The Dalai Lama, Tibetan Master Je Tsongkhapa and author Stephan Asma wrote and illustrated a book called “Buddha, A Beginners Guide” which was comic like, but it was done in more of a humorous way than “The Story of Buddha: A Graphic Biography”, which is more true to the roots of this style of novel.

“The Story of Buddha: A Graphic Biography”, is much more of a traditional Japanese styled manga, meticulous, clean and quite moving. The illustrations are striking and express emotion without even needing to read the words, but it is important obviously that you do read them. The story line, which most of all know by now, puts a little more emphasis on his life in the palace and the struggles he goes through in understanding, or trying to understand, what life is truly about. His struggles were immense, but through rigorous training of the mind and body, the Buddha did achieve true happiness from suffering.

The novel is written well enough that intermediate readers to adult readers will not only enjoy, but devour in a timely fashion. I truly enjoyed reading “The Story of Buddha: A Graphic Biography” and would recommend it highly not only to those who are new to Buddhist thought and practice, but to those that already have a working knowledge of Buddhism. Hats off to Hisashi Ota for accepting the challenge to tackle such a project, and praise to him for being successful in doing so.

Peculiar Stories is a great collection of short tales, directed at children of an early reader level. I’m glad Mora, the author, sent me a copy.

While not officially a book on Buddhism, or even Buddhist folk tales, the stories told are very similar in flavor and morality to those of the Jataka Tales.

We follow a young, 9 year old girl, via her own words and thoughts. She speaks of visiting, and being visited, by a a family member she simply calls Uncle E.

Uncle E is a very Zen like character with quick little quips of knowledge, and edgy koan like questions for the main character. With such questions like, “Well, I was wondering, do you think the train is the main thing, and the space between the cars is in the background, or are we looking mostly at the space, and the train cars are just passing through it?”, the reader is challenged to think on their toes.

My 7 year old has been curious about the book, and I am happy to pass it on to him. The stories are thought provoking, yet done so in a way that readers of this level can understand and contemplate on.

“Peculiar Stories” is not directly written for one spiritual group, nor does it seem to be overtly spiritual at all, and that’s not a bad thing. It encompasses witty stories that a child can not only appreciate, but smile at while reading.