I’ve thoroughly enjoyed doing this blog, and most importantly interacting not only with the readers, but the rest of the Buddhist blogosphere. I’ve hit a point in my life, lately, and have decided the best thing to do, for me, is to close up shop. I am leaving the blog, and all the previous posts, up as an archive.

The past five years have been pivotal to my being the person I have become. Without this blog, and your help, I could not have gotten here. So, thank you for all the support and kind words throughout the years. Many of you know my e-mail address or are on my Facebook. I am happy to stay in contact, and am even happier to have known you in the past, present and future.

Thanks to everyone who has ever commented, guest posted, sent items for review, etc. I appreciate everything!

Onward and upward!!

Over the past few months, I’ve come to terms with the unavoidable changes, as a matter of fact I have learned to embrace them. But, one major factor in my life, now, is striving for bigger shifts in attitude specifically.

I’ve always been the type of person the just allowed things to happen organically, to not buck against it and just be content with the inevitability of it all. I would happily just sit on my little raft, floating down the river of complacency expecting things to change, as they always do and just coping with what happened. I’ve learned, recently, that same sense of complacency was not getting me anywhere but the same place I started. Living this cyclical existence has not been enough for me. As I raise my fist in the air, revolting against the very idea that we should just “be” and let this life unfold, I also scream from the bowels of my gut that I refuse to sit on that raft any longer, as a matter of fact I am pushing that raft ashore and setting the damned thing ablaze!!

Life’s too short for that crap. There are so many moments that can be embraced, to make those changes, but we tend to believe those things are too hard or that we can’t accomplish the task so we don’t even bother to put in the effort. I emplore you to put that brain chatter to rest, to flip that raft over, and try. You’d be amazed at the things you can do and accomplish with even the least bit of effort. The only failure is not trying.

I’ve lived my life in the comfort of complacency for to long. If I have an idea, from here on out, I am doing it. If I want to do this, I am doing it. I am setting goals that I was scared of in the past. I refuse to sit idly by and let this life pass without making it meaningful. I resist the implication that we should just be happy with the way things are. To be honest, I am sick and tired of this idea that we should just let go, to somehow coexist in a manner that we have no control of. Pardon the language, but fuck that! Yes, there are things beyond our control, but there are many moments I can, and will, control.

I am the change I want.

I am the man in the mirror.

I will not sit by and let life pass me by!!!

I’ve regularly been going to a gym. It was daunting at first, being all of 140lbs at 5′ 5″. A good cross section of the members dwarfed me in size, but I was/am there for one goal. I am looking to not only get my body in shape, so I feel better physically, but mentally as well. I would love to add a few pounds, maybe, just maybe not worry about what my skinny ass looks like when I go to the beach with my kids in the summer.

Guess what, those “meatheads” and “gerbils” are there to do the same thing! Maybe some of those “meatheads” put off that they have the mental aptitude of a raisin, but that doesn’t mean anything more than they are focused on one thing, building muscle and getting fit. Isn’t that the same thing I’m doing?

Considering some of the statistics on obesity in this country, I think a good section of the people should be awarded for getting their rear ends off the couch. I mean, what are we really projecting out there to the world? How do you want people to view you? Honestly, I don’t care what others think, I’m hard enough on myself, but that’s beside the point I’m trying to make here. The point is, my perspective is changing dramatically, as each day passes. I’ve been rather judgmental my whole life, and am trying to get past that.

I used to look at fit people as being fanatics, a different breed. The fact of the matter is, they are, they are a breed that actually give two shits about their health and are doing something about it. But, they are not only affecting and or inspiring themselves to push on, they are inspiring people like myself. The trickle down is that our children, I hope, see the way we are treating ourselves and might actually mimic that. I know my kids would rather stay home and play the Wii all day, but they need to remain active. What better way than to show them that path?

This past weekend I went to an expo and volunteered some time for the Spartan Race, who had set up a booth. Everyone was getting people into it, talking it up, etc. My boys were passing out info, talking up the fact they were signed up for the Jr Spartan Race, they also hit the deck and were doing burpees. You can easily google that! At the booth we threw out a challenge to those walking by to do as many burpees in 2 minutes and they would win a free race. Anyway… after the race the Street Team Director for the Spartan Race made my boys honorary members of the Street Team, and said they had inspired him to set up an exclusive Street Team just for Jr Spartan Race participants. This made my boys glow, smiles from ear to ear!! It’s the little things.

Maybe someday someone might call me a “gerbil” or “part of the machine”, I doubt they will call me a “meathead” at my size. But, I am ok with that. Because I feel good about myself, my body is no longer crying out for exercise, quite the opposite. It embraces the suck it goes through. It might complain the next day, but it, and I, love every minute of it. See you later, off to the gym now….

WHEN THE IRON BIRD FLIES: Tibetan Buddhism Arrives in the West is the first feature length documentary to take a comprehensive look at the impact Tibetan Buddhism is having on Western culture. The film creates a vivid portrait of the world of Tibetan Buddhism as it is manifesting in the West–from the personal experiences and insights of teachers and practitioners to the wide-ranging dialogues taking place between Buddhist teachings and the worlds of science, psychology, and the arts. – excerpt taken from Kickstarter fundraising site

In order to fully fund the project, they are hoping to raise about $30,000. They are in the final stages of editing and the money will be used to cover those expenses. They are almost a third of the way to their goal.

Can you help?

If you can contribute please visit their Kickstarter page at http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2107396078/when-the-iron-bird-flies You can also see a teaser of the film at the page. Any donation level is accepted and appreciated!

“Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else.” ~ Tyler Durden

I wasn’t trying to burst anyone’s bubble, or make them feel like their shiny happy life wasn’t filled with rainbows and butterflies. They can keep on believing that all they want, all I say is good luck with that!!

What I was trying to point out was the fact we all open our eyes in the morning, we all close them at night. When we do close them, we all hope we will open them in the morning. Because, to be perfectly honest, you never know when they will stay shut. The happy shiny world you live in can come to an end at any point, and it doesn’t matter what you have that’s going to make it any better.

Yeah, your Ming vase might look nice, maybe it draws a bit of admiration from your friends. Regardless of what the vase is, and what it does for your “status”, guess what? When the worms start feeding they could care less what you had, you and I will taste the same. I’m sure most Ming vase owners are not reading this post, so it is, in a sense, falling on deaf ears.

I guess what I am trying to convey here, in not so many words, is the fact we all suffer the same. I’ve been full of piss and vinegar lately because of my poor life. What makes me think I suffer any less than the rest of the world. For crying out loud, the stuff I got going on pales in comparison to  the shit a large percent of the worlds populace is dealing with.

I’m not telling you to live your life in a certain way, I’m telling you how I refuse to live mine. I refuse to mope around crying “poor me” all the damn time. I refuse to play the role of victim and moan about my so called rough life. To tell you the truth, it’s fucking wearing me out man!

Times are looking grim these days
Holding on to everything
It’s hard to draw the line
And I, I’m hiding in this empty space
Tortured by my memories
Of what I left behind

I would just mope around, poor me… Why is this happening to me? Boo hoo!

But, after listening to the song, especially the chorus— I realized the message was not about feeling bad for yourself. Those lyrics goes something like…

Shut the f#$k up, get up!

Jonathan Davis, lead singer of Korn, was not just saying it, he was yelling it at the top of his lungs. I could swear he was yelling these words right in my direction.

It felt like he was just grabbing me by the collar and smacking me in the face. Like he was saying “get up… stop feeling sorry for yourself.. get over yourself and do something…”

Looking into the mirror, I don’t see a sorry person.

I look in the mirror and see someone who is strong, resolved and brushing himself off.

There is no time like the here and now to get up, no time like the present to make the changes that need to be made. I can’t sit around hoping and mumbling mantras that somehow the cosmic forces of the universe are going to make it ok. Because, no-one or no thing can make the change, it’s up to me.

So, no more moping, it’s nothing but forward motion from here on out.

As The New Year Approaches:
Try something new to have fun and get fit

Every December and January, the same talks get discussed; New Year’s Resolutions. You promise yourself to go to the gym, lose weight, don’t eat chocolate, it’s the same ole same ole. Many of times the reasons why these promises do not get fulfilled is because you get bored half way through and even the sight of a gym makes you turn the other way. That is why you need to adopt a program that is fun, relaxing, and intense. This is why yoga is the perfect solution to any resolution. I know I know, you are thinking, “but I can’t even do the splits” that is why yoga is perfect. There are so many forms of yoga that there is one out there for you. Trust me.

One form that is fun and different is AntiGravity yoga. And no, you do not get perform yoga in spacesuits or in zero G, for all you “trekkies” but you do get to hang and stretch on a silky hammock.  This very physically intense yoga and is a great way to get tone, really work that upper body, and revitalize the mind-body connection. AntiGravity yoga combines Pilates, dance, calisthenics, and acrobatics with traditional asanas to create a fun alternative yoga.

AcroYoga is another alternative yoga that combines the roles of acrobatics with yoga. This is a great way to set a goal with a partner, since the poses rely on the cooperation of two people (the base and the flyer).  The postures and poses of AcroYoga are very intense but offer great results. Not only do practitioners build muscle and tone up, they rejuvenate the body’s energy. This is also a great yoga to do with children.

Another good stress reliever and resolution-setter is laughter yoga. This alternative form of yoga is becoming very prominent in studios and nursing homes around the country. Since it has been documented to alleviate depression, many elderly patients have adopted as well as people with aggressive cancer diagnoses, like a non-hodgkin’s lymphoma or mesothelioma prognosis. Since there are not many poses involved with laughter yoga, the mental and spiritual aspects are compared to traditional asanas. It is great for people that just need a stress relief and are not into physically intense movements.

So as the New Year rolls on in, step out and try something new. Maybe this year you will keep to your promises!

As you read in my recent post “Running Is As Running Does”, or maybe you didn’t, I have been running a bit. That has not been the only physical activity I’ve done. I have been doing a workout program called P90X, I am sure by now you’ve all heard of it. Working out at home is perfect for me, a gym is not a place where I plan to go, not only because I do not fit the mold of the “lift things up and put them down” guys but because most of them are outrageously priced. I was able to get P90X for a very reasonable cost from someone on Craigslist.

At first I thought, this can’t possibly work, it’s just another infomercial scam. I put my initial thoughts about it aside though and gave it my all. The first day, the chest and back workout, kicked my behind. That is putting it lightly, I was sore as hell the next day. I was invigorated though so I went about the second day, the plyometrics workout. Plyometrics, or jump training, is to the wall cardio style. Not only are you jumping, you are running in place, etc. Needless to say, the next day not only was my chest and back still sore, but my legs were wasted.

I am just about at the end of the 90 days and I have to say this, I have never, EVER, been in good physical condition as I am now. 15 or so years ago, I did have a workout partner and we went to a gym, but I never felt this good. At age 37 it’s quite impressive, to me at least.

Lately, I’ve finally been able to make some time to start up a sitting practice again. Because of the fitness, I feel like my sessions are stronger than they were before. My form is a little better and my mind feels in tune with my body because of that. My breathing, because of all the cardio and relentless exercise, has become more refined and is easier to follow.

I am really starting to understand the mind/ body connection, I guess I never really gave it much thought before. It is extremely important to this practice. Once again, I have come back to the beginning of all of this practice stuff. Each time, I come back to it with a fresh approach. This time, it feels a bit more organic, and things are a bit more in tune. I hope you enjoy this post.

Lodro Rinzler joins the ranks of other GenX American practitioners/ teachers such as Ethan Nichtern, Brad Warner, Noah Levine and more, to get into the writing world. While not breaking any new ground, Lodro explains things in a very practical and down to earth style. Coming from a specific tradition, Vajrayana in the Shambhala lineage, there is of course helpful hints and tips based on those teachings.

Lodro introduces some witty anectdotes that reflect circumstances from his life. One particular story I enjoyed was one where he was at Karme Choling and an incident occurred where some workers there had some tension. The outcome was not some profound wisdom on his part, but was the wisdom of a fellow retreatant that he witnessed and learned from. Lodro tells the reader how to recognize events in everyday life as lessons. From the simplest of things, there are always things we can slow down, reflect on and gain some wisdom from.

That doesn’t mean he circles round the daisies here folks, he tackles many subjects that make most Buddhist purists get all uppity and offended. From sex, to beer Lodro tackles just about every situation you could possibly get yourself into. He does not denounce either of them, as a matter of fact, he says just the opposite. He talks about embracing them. Drinking a beer for instance, it’s not about getting drunk, but grab a hold of that beer, drink it, notice it and see what effects it has on you. I’m of course paraphrasing here, you’ll have to get a copy of the book to better understand what I was getting at.

All in all, Lodro has written a gem here. His openness is valuable, and his wisdom palapable. I look forward to reading more from him in the future.

My health has not been so good lately, and I decided it was time to do something about it. I thought of a couple ways I could, and I started doing it. The first few times I barely jogged a 1/2 mile, it would kill my legs and I honestly felt defeated half of the time. I knew I had to overcome that self-defeat and kept pushing. I got myself up to a mile, a mile and a half, to being able to complete 3 mile runs.

In September I ran my first 5k and finished in a little over 30 minutes, 31 minutes and 33 seconds to be exact. I was blown away by my time, blown away by the fact I could hold my own against people who were way more fit than I. I was happy beyond belief, though, to have even finished.

On Thanksgiving day I ran my second 5k, and finished in 28 minutes and 22 seconds. I had shaved nearly 2 minutes off of my PR from the first race. I felt emboldened, as if I finally was getting somewhere. But, where exactly was I going, and how was I getting there? Am I running for health, or for some other reason.

As I go over and over it in my head, and I hate to admit it, but it’s become another infatuation of mine. My life is pure, unadulterated samsara, my habitual patterns continue and continue. At the same time, I feel in a weird way that I am running away from something. I still have yet to figure that part out, but sooner or later it’ll catch up… it always does.

So, at this point, has running really done anything for me? Absolutely, it has. A while back I saw on Facebook a video someone had posted where Sakyong Mipham spoke of his love for running. He talked about how it is like a meditation for him.

Lately, I have not been meditating, circumstances in my life made it virtually impossible. After watching the video though, I started looking at my running a little bit differently. I tried to keep my pace even. I have tried to focus not on the running so much, but on the rhythm of the running. I’ve worked on synchronizing my breath with the pace I am running. It’s amazing how these minor tweaks have turned an exercise for the body, into an exercise for the mind.

As my body has become more at ease, slowly, but surely, my mind has been calling me back. I could go on and on with the pity party that has been my life as of late, but I know there is work to be done. Meditation, and the Dharma, are calling me back. While my body and mind seem rather dry, I am gently dipping my toes back in the stream. My body has never been something I felt would lead me in the direction of tranquility, but is telling me to keep going. To keep running, because not only does it feel good, but because it helps.